Would you treat your partner, children or friends the way you treat yourself?
When our inner critic is out of control, it can lead to constant self-blame, self-judgment and criticism which evolves into self-loath. Another aspect is perfectionism: you may be setting too high expectations for your actions, thoughts, performance or personal responsibility.
Sometimes we take on other people’s responsibilities, for example “If I don’t cook, my family won’t eat”. Is it really true?, is there anybody else able to cook for sometimes?..
In order to develop self-compassion (Collins) we can start by reducing expectations. Learning to set SMART (Specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timely) goals will help you to develop self-love and self-compassion.
Here are some steps that you can take:
1. Comfort your body: eat healthy, do exercise, rest, relax, do fun things to take your mind off things.
2. Comfort your mind and soul: write letters explaining how you feel.
3. Reward yourself when you achieve milestones.
4. Practice mindfulness skills: observe, describe and participate in activities fully.
Knowing that you are doing the best you can in the situation you are in and with the information you have is self-compassion.